Hi kids,

What a topic to write on, marriage! You’re 8 months old Abi, and Sean you’re not even three… So to even imagine you married seems like forever away, but I know the day may very well come, so here is what I’ve got for you on marriage.

My hearts desire is that you would have healthy marriages that reflect how much God loves His church.

1. Learn all you can from people whose marriages are healthier than yours. Ask them questions, observe their interactions, find out their story. Your Mum and I have, and it’s been a huge part of why our marriage is so healthy… we’ve done our best to stay humble and teachable. 

2. Hate divorce as much as God does. There’s no such thing as a win-win divorce. There are always losers and there is always pain. Learn to hate divorce from day one, and do everything you can to eliminate it from your vocabulary. Yes there are cases for divorce, but weep over such cases and try for repentance and reconciliation over divorce. God is for marriages, for they are a picture of His love for people. The devil hates marriages for the same reason, He hates the picture they represent to society. Hate divorce, love God.

3. Always remember you are on the same team. This has helped your Mum and I on countless occasions. Whenever you want to stay mad or not forgive, always remind yourself that you are on the same team.

4. Put the other first. The key to a happy marriage is sacrificial love, one to the other, and through Christ’s example we see this.

5. Don’t run back to “Mummy”. When it comes to marriages, one of the quickest ways to ruin one is to take all your dramas back to your parents of origin. Don’t do it. Instead, mourn the loss of your parents (as you currently relate to them) and then start your own home and your own traditions, and sort out your own dramas, together.

6. Communicate.

More to come tomorrow,


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