Why when it comes to sex- Conversation is crucial

For whatever reason people regularly ask me to speak at their schools, camps and churches on the topic of pornography, and sex.

Maybe it’s because I have a testimony in this area, but I suspect it might be also because I’m one of the only people they know that is happy to talk about it.

Silence around pornography and sexuality in the church is one thing that can no longer be tolerated.

If we do not have these conversations, we leave our kids and friends to look to the media, peers and themselves for answers, instead of Christian family who can point them to Jesus.

I am constantly in awe of the silence around this topic in churches.

Sy Robers says, “the world throws a tsunami at us when it comes to conversation about sex, the church throws a raindrop.”

Here are some crazy stats for you…

Australian based Research in 2005 found around 1 in 10 10-13 year olds had intentionally viewed pornographic material.

And US research is saying that

– the Average age of first Internet exposure to pornography is 11 years old (I’ve heard lately the average to some form is 8 years!)

-Largest consumer of Internet pornography is aged 12-17

– 80% of 15-17 year olds having multiple hard-core exposures

– 90% of 8-16 year olds have viewed porn online (most while doing homework)

– and around 50% of American men with Christian accountability software on their computer view pornography each week. Australian statistics are similar- and these are men proactively trying to fight it!

An Australian Institute of Criminology paper reports that pornography is linked to the following issues

– interfere with normal sexual development (e.g. encouraging early sexual activity)

– foster ‘open’ sexual lifestyles (e.g. acceptance of casual and extramarital sex, multiple partners, etc.) and other sexual practices that may not be considered appropriate by particular elements of the community (e.g. anal and oral sex, homosexuality)

-undermine physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing (generate shame, guilt, anxiety, confusion, poor social bonds, and addictions)

-undermine relationships and foster sexual violence (e.g. Jensen & Okrina 2004; Zillman 2000).

Dr. Robi Sonderreger an Australian Psychiatrist says that peer to peer phot sharing means that we are now looking at a generation of future potential peadophiles as seared into the brains of 13 year olds for the rest of their lives is the thought that 13 year olds could be sex objects.

The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:18- Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

Sexual sin is such an intimate thing, it’s not like stealing or lying, it’s against your own body and often the body of another too.

We can not stay silent on these issues.

So, what is my suggestion.

For those caught up in sexual sin, from homosexual acts, to pornography and affairs- repent, come to Jesus and let Him forgive you and restore you and then talk about it with trusted friends and family who will point you to Jesus.

For those who know someone who is struggling with sexual sin- talk to them.

The days of saying “no, and that’s it, end of discussion” MUST be over.

The world is not just throwing this stuff at Christians, but actively engaging in the conversation from school classrooms to social media and the 7pm news. The don’t just say “yes”, they say “yes, and this is why and this is how.”

Healthy Christ glorifying conversations about pornography and sex must be as common in our homes and churches as conversations about the football, music and the weather.

Children (and men and women) must always feel free to ask any question with the word “taboo” removed from our vocabulary.

Let me encourage you in your conversations to focus on the grace of Christ, which must always be the centre of our conversations.

Gods grace not only forgives you, but gives you the power to walk in victory once again.

You are more than a conquerer and through Christ you can do all things.

Andrew